House Arrest

Stay Up Late

Baby, baby, please let me hold him
I wanna make him stay up all night
Sister, sister, he's just a plaything
We wanna make him stay up all night
Yeah we do

We're actually not the ones making the babies stay up late. In fact, the tables are more than turned in this case. I feel like the proverbial table is doing revolutions and is about to accelerate and lift off.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm actually the one that gets to sleep a good five hour (sometimes more!) stretch at a shot. Mark is currently on duty from around 10 PM until five, although he has bravely and more than courteously stayed on duty until seven. Or nine, like he did this morning. Pumping is exhausting (more on my frustrations with my ta-tas and milk supply at some other point) and Mark realizes that it drains me so he tries not to disturb my rest. He occassionally has to semi-rouse me to feed, hold or comfort a baby, but he tries really hard to only do it if he absolutely needs my help.

Still, sometimes a mother's touch is the only thing a baby wants.

So, we're both pretty exhausted from keeping up with the babies' needs, but we were expecting that. After all, all new parents find themselves sleepless and a little harried.

What I wasn't expecting, though, was for all the days to blur together. I didn't realize today was Sunday until I called a medical supply place. Long story short, I need to exchange the hospital-grade pump that I'm renting from them with one that actually works — theirs is missing a key part — as the $300 breastpump that I bought for work use is dying after less than a month's use. (Granted, I'm probably using it a LOT more than what it was designed for, but this is NOT helping my supply issues right now.) I was pretty freaking surprised to find out from their automated message that it was Sunday and that I should call back during regular business hours. It was then that I realized that I have been drifting through life with no real mooring aside from the twins' feeding times and what's been on Discovery or History at the moment.

Thinking on it, I realized that I had no real recollection about what the hell we've been doing. I had to think very hard about what we did last weekend — I eventually remembered that it had been Father's Day and I let Mark have as much of a day off as was possible. But, I'd honestly thought that Aden had come home last Sunday (he'd come home the week before) and it wasn't until I looked back at the blog and at the 365 pictures that I realized my mistake.

I think part of this stems from the sameness of our days. Get up, feed, change, burp, sleep. This same routine pretty much applies to Mark and me too... I haven't left the apartment since Monday (I think) when I walked Maia for Mark. The closest I've come to human contact (aside from Mark and the babes) has been a conference call that I participated on for a new product we're going to be using at work.

The days blur. And they blur quickly. It's honestly mostly a huge mishmosh for me right now, with some occassional bits that stick in memory.

Like finding Spot sitting on our copy of "The Cat Owner's Manual":

Or finally getting both mobiles, the crib toy (mirror) and baby monitor in place:

And scoring a coup when trying to figure how to carry two babies at the same time:

Getting the babies situated was tricky, but worth it for the instant bliss it brought Hunter:

And I'm doubly-blessed that Aden likes being in the sling:

I do admit that I am looking forward to the day when I won't have to fret about a lot of the baby stuff and my reading selections can lean towards Tolkien and the knitting that I do can resume being challenging:

Then life will be just going with the flow and enjoying the giggles and scraped knees and peas flung at the wall.

Home, Part I

In case you were wondering why the blog has been quiet for a few days, well... we've been a bit busy getting used to delightful little squeaks, squeals and grunts.

Hunter is home.

Mark and I got to bring our baby girl home on Thursday morning after spending a night in the hospital's launchpad — a room in the NICU designed for parents to sleep in and prepare to take their baby home after the hospital stay. Mark and I got to sleep in the same room with Hunter, unplugged from the Matrix that was her former life.

No beeping machines. No monitors. Just us. Mega-frightening, no? A nurse was available to help us at a call's notice, but fortunately we didn't need her. Mark and I watched over Hunter, changed and fed her. We picked her up when she fussed and held our breath when she was quiet. We'd finally become real parents, complete with all the real worry.

The next morning, we were handed a packet of medical information for our pediatrician, tons of literature from baby companies, a diaper bag and all the free formula, bottles, nipples and preemie diapers I could carry. (Seriously... the NICU nurses there hooked us UP!) We put Hunter in her car seat and kept making excuses for not leaving.

Finally, we said a sad goodbye for the day to Aden.

Knowing that he only had a week or two more before he also would be coming home didn't make it any easier to leave him there. My heart broke many times over before we left.

Hunter, in true baby fashion, didn't let any of the fuss and turmoil phase her. She slept all the way home while I kept vigilantly watching her breathing — something I continued to do through most of the night, in fact. (I can't wait for the baby monitor I ordered to arrive.) Of course, she scared us by being fussier than we're used to and giving Mark problems when feeding her. Let's just say that we spent most of the night second guessing ourselves. (Is she too hot? Too cold? Maybe the formula upset her tummy? Should I give her some of the breastmilk earmarked for Aden?..)

As I like to joke with the nurses, we haven't killed her so far... In fact we even managed to give her a bath and get her all nice and squeaky clean so we must be doing something right.

Today, we took her to the pediatrician for her first visit and then back to the NICU from which she was sprung. Aden needed breastmilk (gotta pump, gotta pump, gotta increase that supply, damnit!) and, of course, we wanted to see him and be there for him. So Mark and I brought Hunter along with us, having received prior blessing from the neonatologist and the nursing staff.

We got some pretty good news about Aden with today's visit, which helped to make leaving without him easier. His weight is currently up to 1790 grams (from 1500 at birth) and they have completely taken him out of his isolette and put him in an open air bassinet. He's still hooked up to machines for heart rate, oxygen and breathing monitoring. BUT, he's breathing, normal room air and maintaining body temperature all on his own. And, most importantly, the feeding tube is out of his nose. He's being bottlefed from now on and if he does well on his feedings for the next 48 hours, they'll start talking about possibly sending him home next week.

If I remember correctly, the earliest they would send him home is next Wednesday. That's a very optimistic projection and it's based on the assumption that everything keeps improving and that there's no backsliding (losing weight, having problems nippling) on Aden's part.

Hope. Patience. Faith.

Check.

Pretty soon, we'll all be together as a family. I'm terrified at the prospect but I can hardly wait.

P.S. That is indeed a finished object you see Aden wearing. It's the Vine Lace Baby hat pattern from Knitting Daily. Hunter wore hers also, but it's not visible in the changing table picture.

The hats each took a few hours to make. I recommend that if you make them yourself, you invest in some 7" length double-pointed needles. They will make the job a hell of a lot easier than using regular 10" length ones. Mark actually ran out and bought the needles I wanted while I was on bed rest.

Mark. In a knitting store. Of his own free will.

That man surely loves me.

Once the knitting was done, I couldn't tell if the hats were too small or if I needed to aggressively block them to size. My gauge was on and I followed the pattern to a T so I kept thinking it was the latter. However, I decided not to block the Vine hats after all.

Pre-blocking they were just perfect for my babies' little preemie heads.

P.P.S. I'm actually not a pink and blue person, contrary to what you might be thinking.

32 Weeks: UFO Roundup

We have our eagerly awaited ultrasound appointment at 9:15 today. They'll be doing growth checks on the twins so I've got my fingers crossed for good news. According to "What to Expect When You're Expecting," the sea monkeys are supposed to be gaining half an ounce per day past this point.

I'm really hoping that Aden gained at least four ounces again. Technically he should have gained between eight ounces and a pound in the two weeks between growth measurements, but any development will make me happy. Both he and Hunter have been squirming so strongly that it's hard to imagine them being in trouble, and that makes things even more frustrating than they should be. (I'll post an update on the appointment when we get back...)

I'm in serious nesting mode right now and as such I am pretty frustrated to find myself on bedrest. There are pictures to be hung, things to purchased, a nursery, albeit a small one, to be set up. I'll be doing a little more online registry / wishlist shopping after our doctor's appointment — we need to get the pack n' play and the second car seat — but frankly there's not much satisfaction after you hit the "confirm order" button.

The satisfaction comes when you receive the things and put them together or arrange them "just so", which, of course, I'm not allowed do right now.

The only thing that I do have control of is my knitting. There are a slew of things to be blocked and sewn up, to be absolutely finished. Since I started in mid-January, I have completed the knitting on eight sweaters / vests, four pairs of booties, four pairs of mittens, four beanies and two lace caps — all in the newborn to 3 month size.

That's a whole mess of knitting. And a whole mess of UFO's (unfinished objects for those not up on "knitter-speak"). Since the rest of my baby projects are for larger sizes (6 months, 1 year), my goal for the week is to have Mark buy me a bottle of Dreft (or some dye-free, scent-free generic equivalent) and to get to blocking, sewing up ends and otherwise getting all my newborn knits finished and ready to wear.

As a recap, here're all the projects that need to be finished up:

Classic Cashmere Sweaters

Harvey Kimonos

Hooded Jackets

Oz Vests

Classic Cashmere Booties

Baby Mittens

Beanie Hats

Vine Lace Baby Hats

Some of these only need to be gently blocked and have a few loose ends sewn in; others require fiddly piecing together and sewing on of buttons, among other things. Still it's all very doable. I'm thinking of washing and blocking two sweaters a day, then sewing them up the following day when they are dry. That way I can easily  block them on my sewing table with minimal effort. It'll be slower than trying to do them all at one shot, but it will be more manageable in the long run.

Fortunately, aside from the Vine Lace Baby Hats, the accessories (hats, mittens and booties) need no blocking so I can sew up the loose ends of those pretty much at will and have them completed in a day or two.

And to keep my hands actually knitting between finishing sweaters, I've started swatching for the Classic Baby Cardigans in my sidebar at left. As of last night, I thought I had gauge (a weird 6 1/4 stitches per inch!) but I want to work a few more rows before diving fully in.