Infertility
Despite the pain and soreness in both my thighs I decided not to give myself a shot in the abdomen. On reflection, I could see myself not being able to sit up straight or, worse, not being able to wear any of my normal clothes. On the weekends this wouldn't pose a problem but come Monday it would definitely throw me off. Ever since I started working for ExtremelyLargeCorporation, I've changed my mode of dress from sloppy business casual to "all suits all the time". My suits are fitted 8s and 10s that don't allow for much lee-way. I don't have any "relaxed" fitting stuff since I threw out all my "fat clothes" when I lost the weight last year.
I decided to stick with the thigh rotation which meant that I had to stick myself in the first thigh I started the stims with -- the one that was really red and painful. Thankfully all of the redness was concentrated in one 2" diameter area now so I could easily see where I should avoid. I did the Lupron shot first mainly because it's quick -- only 5cc to push in -- but also to see if I could tolerate injecting myself in that thigh again.
Once that was done, I mixed my meds carefully and slowly, and spent an inordinate amount of time trying to make sure that I got as much of the drugs out of the vials as I could.
Let's talk about preparing the meds for a minute.
The Lupron is in liquid form, so there's been no additional prep-work needed. Just draw up the right amount using a teeny 1/2" 27G needle -- the same type that diabetics use for their insulin -- and deliver the shot. Easy peasy.
The stims are different. They come in powdered form in teeny-weeny vials. Each vial contains one "amp" (read: vials containing 75 IU) of the drug. A "protocol" will call for X number of amps of each drug. Mine consists of 3 amps Gonal-F and one amp Repronex. In order to inject the stims, you need to reconstitute the powder using the provided mixing liquid. In my case, the purified water that came in the pre-filled syringes with the Gonal-F was out because the needles had given lots of patients trouble. Instead, the clinic prescribed a different brand of syringe and told me to use the 0.9% Sodium Chloride liquid that came with the Repronex as the mixing liquid.
To prepare the meds for injection, you line up your vials of powder and your vial of liquid and clean off the tops of each with an alcohol pad. Then you take your 3ml syringe, which has this HUMONGOUS "mixing" needle (1 1/2" 22 G) attached to it, poke it through the top of the liquid vial and draw up the pre-requisite amount. In my case I can use anywhere from 1 ml - 2 ml. Next, you plunge the needle into the first vial of powder, dispense the liquid -- the powder dissolves instantly -- and draw as much of the liquid as you can back out. Then you move on to the next vial and repeat the same procedure, until you have done all the vials in your protocol.
I was told that you wouldn't always get all of the liquid out of the vials but that you shouldn't be off by more than one line on your syringe. Guess what, that's a lot easier said than done. Especially when you're as anal-retentive as myself. You have to remember that a) these meds are EXPENSIVE ($5,000 for one cycle) and b) that dosage REALLY MATTERS. The wrong amount can fuck up your treatment to the point that you have to abort and wait a month to try again. Last night, I estimate, I spent ten minutes alone just prepping the meds and getting the liquid out.
Once you've all the liquid you could possibly get out of the vials in your syringe AND have gotten rid of air bubbles, then you switch needles. You go from a rather large long needle with a big diameter to one that is teeny. And you use that teeny one to deliver the injection. Lots of liquid going through a small diameter equals long and painful.
SO... last night, I finally had my meds ready. I prepped my thigh and looked for the Lupron injection site so that I could avoid it. I was already avoiding the huge red spot higher up. I found what looked like a suitable spot, stuck the needle in and started pushing the plunger down. A bubble formed at the injection site. It's where the meds were, under my skin. Then I saw the blood vessel next to it, getting swollen. SHIT, I thought, I must've moved the needle or hit it by mistake. Still, I continued to push the meds in. I withdrew the needle.
And I bled. Bled like a stuck pig. And all I saw was the VERY EXPENSIVE meds leaving my system and my cycle being fucked up. It took me about 30 seconds to grab an alcohol pad and start applying pressure. I wanted to cry. I'd alreay convinced myself that this fuck up was gonna cost me the cycle. That I couldn't keep on doing these stupid shots.
Have I mentioned that I'm more emotional and short-tempered of late?
The bleeding started to slow but I had to change pads. I'd soaked two and was beginning to worry a little, but the pressure eventually stopped it. I called Mark -- he was at a poker game -- and told him what had happened. He was concerned and told me to go to the emergency room if it didn't stop but I told him I thought it'd be okay.
Today is day four and I can't wait for these shots to be over already.
Knitting
I have lots of progress to report on this past week's knitting:
My Portland Pullover sleeves are roughly 2 1/2" away from being done:
I made the sleeves my subway knitting project last week and got a lot accomplished so I'm going to keep working on them while commuting this week. I expect to finish the sleeves in a couple of days and then I can join them to the body and work the yoke and neckline. I guesstimate that I'm 3/4 of the way done with this project.
The first of the Over the Knee socks is also amost done:
I have about 3 or 4" left on the foot before I get to do the toes. Then I get to do it all over again for the second sock!
As for the Simple Knitted Bodice, I finished stringing the beads and knit up the first two lace rows last night. And guess what?
For some reason, I HATE the beads so I'm going to rip those two rows out and just knit a plain sweater without embellishment. The strung yarn won't go to waste, however. I'll just use it for a beaded lace shawl or scarf.
Last, but not least, I started a new bedtime project last week:
It's KnitPick's Square Up the Circle Afghan done in their Mix and Mingle Kit (Storm colorway). This is a fantabulously easy, "lie in bed and knit until you feel sleepy" project. I'm currently up to row 37 of 100 and am looking forward to finishing this by the end of October.
The Menagerie
And because I want to leave off on a positive note after all the gloom and doom, here's the family:
Maia:
Spot:
Stranger:
The Boys (Shadow and Samwise):
