Mark says that when I want put my mind to something, I really put my mind to it. No halfway measures for me.
I guess that's somewhat true.
You see those three black blobs up there. Those are our triplets. Wow. Three little babies with thump-a thump-a heartbeats.
Again, wow. I'd really gotten used to the idea of twins, so this is incredibly disconcerting for me. Twins seemed manageable, from all standpoints, something Mark and I could handle. Triplets however... Well, let's just say that Mark started riffing about three proms, three college tuitions... I kept thinking about my fairly decent salary suddenly supporting five.
Also, I have now officially moved not only into the realm of high-risk pregnancy but also into an ethics minefield. Do we keep all three and face the increased risks? (Mind you, Mark spent a bunch of yesterday afternoon Googling after we got the news. He found that 20% of triplet pregnancies spontaneously abort... that's ALL of the fetuses. I really didn't need for him to tell me that little nugget.) Or, do we "selectively reduce" and continue with twins? (That procedure carries it's own set of risks, including loss of pregnancy.)
Wasn't the point of going through the infertility treatments to get pregnant and KEEP it and not to abort? If I go that route will the thought of the third one haunt me for my entire life? How do you even fucking choose? The mind reels at all the "what if" scenarios.
I'm currently waiting for the midwife to call me back so I can make an appointment to discuss all this crap with the Maternal Fetal health specialist. It's all going to boil down to what makes the best sense, what provides the best odds, but I know they're going to push me into having a "selective reduction." Better for the hospital and doctors, for the remaining embryos, for the mom. From what I've read, triplet pregnancies are REALLY high risk and harder to manage than twin pregnancies. Triplets are invariably preemies, and that comes with its own series of risks. And then there's the aforementioned greater chance of losing ALL the babies. Mark and I are going to speak with them and see what they recommend, but let me tell you, just considering the options is already hard.
The funny thing is that there are tons of infertile women who WOULD KILL to be where I'm at now. Pregnant? The first cycle on IVF? With multiples? For Christ's sake, I'm one lucky bitch, aren't I?
I KNOW I'm jumping the gun a bit and inferring what is going to happen. It could turn out that they say, "Hey, you're healthy and strong and with the right amount of monitoring, we could totally make this work out." I really doubt that, however, but it could happen. Still my life is on hold -- A-FUCKING-GAIN -- until I can make this appointment and we can figure out a course. I just want to be a normal prego.
Oh, here's the other pictures you guys have all been waiting for:
These are the two finished fronts of Obi. The good news: The back is equally as straightforward as the fronts. The bad news: I'm no longer feeling the urge to do mindless knitting.
Some additional facts:
- there are 20 rows to each color stripe
- there are a total of 7 stripes to each front (2 of the colors are really, really close, though)
- I used KnitPicks' Options needles in size 4 for the ribbing and size 6 for the rest
- my gauge is off by 1/2 a stitch but it's fine by me since this is a humongously oversized knit
- I knit both fronts at the same time
- as it stands, I could seam this puppy up, wear it as a vest -- 80's style (did I mention that it's kinda huge?)
I'm planning to tackle the back -- which consists of 244 stitches per row -- slowly and to knit the bulk of it when I have time off at Christmas.
Keep growing lil sea monkeys!