House Arrest

Today we are 2

Happy birthday, Aden and Hunter!

Aden wearing his birthday crown last year

Aden wearing it today

Hunter wearing her birthday crown last year

... and today

Normally there would be some long story, some observations here. But I have so much to fill everyone in on (job hunt, operation "fit me", horrid ankle sprain, freelance work, early intervention, and on and on and on) and I am bone weary tonight. Let's just say that being positive wears you out sometimes.

But it's worth it. Our kidlets are growing up. They're now little people with opinions and wants and likes and attitudes. It isn't smooth sailing. There are tantrums and outcries and stubborn moments. There is fear of strangers and of the dog barking when someone is at the door. There is frustration and curiosity going hand in hand.

And there's me and Mark, who want to do more than simply keep them alive. We want to nurture, encourage, and spark their curiosity. We want to teach them to not be afraid of the world but also to fear the right parts. We want to do right by them:

And I think we will. Mark certainly is. I have a little catching up to do.

Daughter Pinwheel Sweater - 1 Year Later

What's this? A post with some actual knitting content in it? Well, it's kind of a cheater post since it's about a project long finished but still in use.

Still, for those who are wondering how the Pinwheel Sweater from Elann grows with your child, just take a look see.

March 30, 2008

April 9, 2009:

To see all of the pics of this sweater, visit the Flickr set for the Daugher Pinwheel.

Giant Elmo Balls

There are times that I feel that just because I'm a parent, I'm not supposed to have perverse thoughts. It's hard because I've been a perverse adult for far longer than I have been a parent. Somehow I thought that birthing two kids would grant me some kind of immunity to my past ways and deeds.

The absurdity of this notion was driven home while I was trying to read "Good Night, Gorilla" to the kids tonight. As per their usual they were doing everything but actually listening to the story. We call this the "getting their ya-yas out" portion of the evening. The kidlets run, screaming "Aaaaaahhhhhhh" at the top of their lungs, from one side of the room to the other, throwing themselves full-speed into the baby-gate that divides the usable part of their room from what we affectionately call the "forbidden zone." They alternately try to jump up and down on their beds -- ah, the joys of not having cribs, smack the forbidden window pane and throw all of their bed clothes on the floor. They also throw themselves headfirst at startling speeds into their beanbag chairs.

Now we bought these beanbag chairs sometime ago, just about the time when we realized that the kidlets had passed the weight limit on their jumperoos. They loved getting their evening bottle in them but, dreading it as we were, we knew it was time to move on. Mark thought that getting some beanbag chairs would be the answer and as usual Google and UPS saved the day. I did a search and found BeanBags.com -- yes a site devoted entirely to selling beanbags, checked out their merchant ratings, and after browsing for all of maybe ten minutes, ordered two toddler-sized chairs. Specifically this one:

in red.

Why red? Because that was the only color available at the time that I could stand. My other choices were lime and what seemed to be an electric orange and personally, those weren't cutting it for me.

So about a week later, the package arrived and opening it I said to Mark, "Oh my God, someone decapitated Elmo." We had these two HUGE furry red balls that looked like they would be at home on Sesame Street. Seriously, stick some eyes and a nose on them and you had, well, Elmo. And they were ROUND, just like his head. I hadn't thought that I'd be buying muppet-skinned beanbags based on the picture I'd seen, but there it was. I wasn't returning them, because we needed them so badly, but I was wondering if I'd made a dubious purchase.

We joked on and off for days about the kids thinking that we'd killed Elmo, but the novelty of it wore off as the beanbags got used. And used. And used.

Let me tell you, everyone, and I mean, everyone loved to sit on the beanbags. Every time folks came over, they would sit, lounge and lie on them. And the kids, well the kids loved the stuffing out of them. So much so that over time, the bean bags lost their firm round shape. In fact, the poor bean bags are now pretty sadly deflated.

Which brings us to tonight.

The kids were doing their usual "ya-ya" routine and Hunter grabbed one of the beanbags and started dragging it across the room. The bag's stuffing lay in the lower third and the piece she was holding was long and wrinkly and stretched... and suddenly my perverse mind no longer saw an innocent beanbag. Instead, I saw a giant scrotum. And not only was it a giant scrotum, it was one that belonged to our favorite muppet. I nudged Mark and, between lines, whispered "Why does that look like a giant ball to me?" And Mark, being as perverse as I am, grinned and said "Elmo LOVES you."

Now Aden and Hunter had putlled their sad deflated beanbags precisely side by side and started doing alternate face plants into what Mark had just identified via whisper as "giant Elmo balls." I could barely continue reading with a straight face. I was all of 16 again, all Beavis and Butthead "He said balls. Heh heh." Tears were streaming down my face as I was guiding Mr. Gorilla and his sneaky crew to Mrs. Hyena and Mrs. Giraffe's cages.

One day, when the kidlets are quite a bit older, perhaps after they're married, we'll tell them this story. I'm sure that if they remember anything, it will be the fun they had throwing themselves into those soft, welcoming beanbags and getting the last of their "ya-yas" out.

P. S. Before you think we have an inordinate fascination with Elmo, we both find him oddly disturbing which is why I guess we post so much about him.

P.P.S. Here are some recent pics of the kids to help get the thought of Elmo's balls out of your head:

Creepy Elmo (guest post by Mark)

Liz jumped about five feet when she pressed a doll's foot in Target today. Here's why:

Chucky spent some time in Elmo's World, I'd say...

22 Months

I looked at Aden the other day and realized that quite without warning he had turned into a little boy.

I don't know how I missed it or when the moment that he went from being a baby to a kid happened. I felt a little surprised, as if this wasn't supposed to happen for months and months. But my head has been buried in freelance work and looking for a job. I haven't "seen" anything clearly except for my photoshop canvas in weeks.

With Hunter, her little girlness came much sooner and was picked up practically instantly by me. I guess it's because once she became mobile, she also became fiercely independent. She is not one for being picked up or carried or hugged or kissed. So I was more readily able to accept that she was no longer a baby. She resembles her mom in that regard which, of course, is going to make things much more interesting when she is a teen.

Aden, on the other hand, still loves mommy rides and wants to be carried and cuddled. When I watch them in the mornings, he crawls on the couch next to me, regarding me with curious, but shy eyes. He'd rather lie on me and nap then run around sometimes, and God forbid I put him down when he is not ready. Oh the tantrums.

And every day my heart swells -- usually once they're in bed and Mark and I can laugh, joke and commiserate over the miracle that the day was.

And because I have so much love for them, and for Mark, not a day goes by where I don't worry about our future, about my ability to provide, of how good a parent I am, of their development.

They've developmentally hit (and exceeded) most of their milestones, but the big sticking point has always been speech. Aden still babbles, and uses no real words, although recently he has started signing a little bit. Hunter has about 5 words, her favorite word being "up" as demonstrated in the video below:

Edited: Moved video to our Photobucket account.

Still, the video above is such a delight. It shows me that they're not stuck, That they're growing and happy and amazing, at times.

I'm trying hard not to let our current circumstances get me down. I want to enjoy my family, spend time with them, be happy with them.

Which is all a long about way of saying, I love my children and am a bit sad that they are growing up so fast. Not because they are growing up, but because I'm not getting to spend as much time with them as I would like.

But I won't be jobless forever and the economy will eventually improve, and one day soon, I will be able to relax and realize all the joy as it happens and not in retrospect.

Twitter

You may or may not have noticed a new item on the sidebar at right so I thought I'd point it out to you. I've added my twitter feed to the blog as I tend to update my status there pretty frequently.

I haven't had the time recently to write the full-blown posts that I am used to. I am working on 3 freelance jobs pretty much full-time, with the rest of my waking life taken up with finding a full-time job, caring for the kidlets and just plain ole trying to find some time for myself.

I will return to this space a bit more frequently, once I have gotten a bit of a grip on things. Until then, you can keep tabs on me via Twitter.

Running through my head

Life is busy and good and yeah those kids songs will stick in your head to no end:

Will you wear white
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Will you wear white, Jenny Jenkins?
No I won't wear white
For the color's too bright

Chorus
I'll buy me a foldy-roldy, tildy-toldy
Seek-a-double, use-a-cozza roll to find me
Roll, Jenny Jenkins, roll

Will you wear green
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Will you wear green, Jenny Jenkins?
No, I won't wear green
It's a shame to be seen

[chorus]

Will you wear blue
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Will you wear blue, Jenny Jenkins?
No, I won't wear blue
For the color's too true

[chorus]

Will you wear yellow
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Will you wear yellow, Jenny Jenkins?
No, I won't wear yellow
For I'd never get a fellow

[chorus]

Will you wear brown
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Will you wear brown, Jenny Jenkins?
No, I won't wear brown
For I'd never get around

[chorus]

Will you wear beige
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Will you wear beige, Jenny Jenkins?
No, I won't wear beige
For it shows my age

[chorus]

Will you wear orange
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Will you wear orange, Jenny Jenkins?
No, orange I won't wear
And it rhymes so there

[chorus]

What will you wear?
Oh my dear, oh my dear
What will you wear, Jenny Jenkins?
Oh what do you care
If I just go bare

[chorus]

A stroll in the Gardens (guest post by Mark)

Today was absolutely gorgeous. Liz has been working all day on freelance stuff, and I took the opportunity to take the twins out not once, but twice.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

The first trip out was to the Farmers' Market at Grand Army Plaza for good bread (otherwise impossible to find in this neighborhood) and non-boring apples. This morning was one of those classic tweener types of weather; you saw people in heavy-ish coats and people in tee shirts. I worried that I'd overdressed the kids in heavy coats, so we hurried home and they pretty much immediately went into nap mode.

Aprés nap and lunch, we set out again, this time for the Botanical Gardens. In flusher times we purchased a family membership, and today was the first day this year that using it seemed like a good idea. And cabin fever aside, I could really use more hour-long walks in the park. I feel like I'm turning into Jabba the Hut. Pretty soon I'm going to start looking for chain mail lingerie for Liz.

Ahem.

Anyway, I once again had the twins in the over-and-under configuration. Aden got to ride in the Kelty (he loves it up there, plus he's 10 ounces lighter) and Hunter got to ride in the stroller. I like this configuration because the double stroller is just a beast in less-than-spacious situations. Also, I feel like I'm in the same zip code as both my kids.

Here's Aden enjoying the view:

Here's Hunter being too cute for her shoes (actually, she was pretty good about keeping them on today):

March is one of my favorite months even though it can be frustrating. We had temperatures near 70 today, yet snow lingered on in places. The Japanese Garden was quite beautiful today:

A good day.

(Pictures are from my new phone; the old one was dying, I wanted bluetooth, and this one was free if I just leased my soul to T-Mobile for two more years. The camera isn't great, but as they say, the best camera for any given situation is the one you're carrying.)

Too Sweet (guest post by Mark)

First off, Aden is fine; it's been more than a week since the last post, and I thought y'all might want to know that the little man is back to his old self:

Second, stress and scares notwithstanding, kids are the best things that can ever happen to people. Moments like this happen because kids don't automatically sleep in the beds that parents work so hard to provide for them:

Sometimes life is too sweet for words.

Seizure

Before anyone worries because of the subject line, I will start off this post by saying that everyone is okay and home.

Last night at about 11:30 PM, Aden woke up crying. We knew instantly that this meant he was sick since he's a pretty good sleeper. Sure enough, he was running a temp of 103.3. We gave him Tylenol as per our usual and he went back to bed.

Like clockwork, he woke up four hours later at 3:30 AM when the dose had worn off. His temperature was in the mid 102 range so we gave him some more Tylenol and got him settled. Uncharacteristically he was up an hour later, with a temp in the 103s. I got Aden into lighter clothes and held him while Mark called the pediatrician to see if we should take him to the ER. The ped on call said to not do anything to quickly or drastically reduce his temperature, such as ice baths or alcohol rubs. Instead she recommended we give him half a dose of Tylenol and let him rest, which we did.

I decided to sleep in the room with the kidlets in case they needed me. We don't often do that because they know when we are there and it disturbs their sleep.

Sure enough, Aden got up a couple of times in the night but was quickly settled.

The kidlets both got up at 6:45, their usual time and got their bottles. Aden was running a fever in the 102 range and was pretty much not wanting to do anything but sit on the couch next to Mom. He took half his bottle while his sister drained hers and then went about her normal routine of playing. At 8:30, I tried to get Aden to eat since they normally get a mid-morning snack at that time. I realized he hadn't asked for his partial bottle so I was getting concerned. He refused a second bottle, so I cut up strawberries -- one of his favorite fruits -- which he also passed on. Meanwhile Hunter drained her second bottle and ate a couple of strawberries, so I guessed that Aden must be teething since his sister wasn't acting sick as well. I retook his temp, which was in the 102 range. It was higher than I liked but he'd gotten Tylenol a little earlier so I switched his long pants and shirt for shorts and a tee in the hope of bringing his temp slowly down.

Around 9:15 or so, he fell asleep on my chest, which was a blessing because I was exhausted too. We both dozed for about 30 minutes, when he suddenly became restless. I touched his back and he felt as if he were burning up. I decided that I needed to check his temperature and that I'd try getting juice or another liquid on him.

Well, his temp read 103.2 and the second I took the thermometer out, he started seizing. He had his hands in tight fists by his head and his eyes rolled back. Suddenly he started drooling fiercely. He was completely not responsive. I don't think I have ever been more scared.

I called for Mark twice then took off into our room and told him that Aden was seizing and we needed to call 911. I laid him on the bed and Mark looked at him, not seeing what I was seeing, but suddenly he realized what was going on. He put Aden on his side on a pillow and watched his little body shake uncontrollably.  Meanwhile I was dialing 911 and asking a dispatcher to send an ambulance to our apartment.

The dispatcher stayed on the line with us, asking questions and directing us on what to do -- move him off the pillows, onto his side, put cool compresses on his head and back. I was freaking but I kept it together. I rapidfired my answers back -- address, phone, info about Aden, descriptions on his behavior at the moment. His breathing got really weird all of a sudden and his little fists were clenched so tightly that they were blue. Then his eyes fully rolled to the back of his head and I thought that he was going to go unconscious. I worried about having to give him CPR.

The dispatcher, God bless her, kept me calm. She told me that the weird sound I was hearing was him coming out of it; that she could hear him breathing and that he was okay. It was probably the longest 3, 5, who knows? minutes of my life before the FDNY showed up. Aden seized for what felt like an eternity but it was probably 5-7 minutes. He was coming back to himself when they came in. The gave him oxygen, took his vitals, checked him out and gently got me moving towards getting us ready for the ambulance ride.

We had 4 FDNY guys, one who clearly had never dealt with a baby having a seizure based on the questions he asked his colleagues but they were all super polite and reassuring. The guy who seemed to be running the show asked me to get Aden a diaper and some clothes -- I brought him into our room buck naked -- so that he would be ready to get in the ambulance. Then 5 minutes later he asked that whoever would be going with Aden in the ambulance should get ready. It was then that I realized that I was standing around in a sheerish shirt with no bra on and that my hair made Medusa's snake-do seem fashionable. I told Mark I'd go because he could drive -- nope, I don't know how to drive -- to meet us at the hospital and threw myself together.

The EMTs arrived just a few minutes after this and went to work on checking Aden out. They asked us which hospital we wanted to go to and we picked Methodist cause it was closest and we'd been there before. By then Aden was fussy and crying but I was thankful because I'd been certain that my son was going to die.

Long story short, Aden had a febrile seizure which are fairly common in children. Approximately 4 in 100 kids will have one. The fact that he had one means that he might have them again in the future so we will have to watch his fevers like a hawk. But, thankfully, as terrifying as the whole experience was, there is little evidence of long-term damage.

Also we discovered at the ER that we had been giving Aden HALF the infant tylenol dosage he should have been getting, hence why his fever wasn't being adequately reduced. Also, the recommendation for fevers over 102 is to use Motrin because it responds better than Tylenol. He also probably has a virus so we can expect for Hunter to get sick in short order also. Thankfully we already have a doctor's appointment for Friday so we'll be going over all this with our pediatrician then.

Aden has been an exhausted sleepy monkey and I am beyond grateful that he is okay. I also supremely grateful that we still have health insurance (until May 31 unless someone gets a job before then.) One of my biggest freak-outs around being unemployed has been concerning the potential loss of health insurance. With two small kids you JUST NEED IT, period. What if he needed to be hospitalized today?

Thankfully we are a-okay. Our family is truly blessed.

(Taken on Monday.)

(Taken on 02/13/09.)