I need to reprimand two of my employees and it's been making me lose sleep all weekend. Let's just say that when other staff members start asking what their special deal is, you kinda gotta do something.
The guy I need to talk to is prone to outbursts and rants full of sheer rage. While I can talk him off the ledge (and kick his ass, need be) I try to avoid getting into a circular argument / shouting match with him. It just gives me a headache and infuriates him more. Unfortunately, he's one of my best and I don't want to lose him so I do a lot to placate him. However, I've gotten to the point where I don't think that strategy is effective anymore.
The other employee, well she isn't directly under me, which takes the weight out of my words. Nevermind that my boss is also her direct supervisor and will back me up on everything. My words just have no meaning with her. She just "tee-hees" her way through talks with me ("Oh yeah, I fucked up, isn't that funny? Tee-hee!") or gets really upset to the point of tears. She's in her early 20s so I know that she doesn't have anywhere near the level of maturity I expect. I feel that I should be more understanding or try to mentor her more, but I'm at my limit of patience with her. How much mentoring can you do with someone who won't listen?
Normally I would send an email to each individual, jokingly but firmly saying, "Cut the shit out, please" but I'm really tired of being passive-aggressive; of being Ms. Walk-All-Over me face-to-face and bitchy Dragon-Lady behind closed doors. I get all worked up about bad behavior and then bite my tongue and suppress what I need to say. I avoid confrontation like the plague -- who doesn't? -- but now I think it's time to stop.
The ultimate goal is to have a functioning, efficient work environment and for the bulk of the folks to be happy. I've been bending over backwards, busting my ass trying to make my team happy, catering to them, soothing their egos, trying to help them out. In the meantime, I've been dealing with laziness, sloppiness, missed deadlines, challenges to my authority...
Fuck 'em. I'm tired of being taken advantage of. Of being the one who is stressed. Of being the only mature one. Of being quiet. They're going to hear my mouth, more freely and openly, a lot more often from now on. No more ignoring the extended lunch breaks, the four extra smoke breaks, the passing notes at each other's desks (yes, this happens!)... I'll be walking around a lot more asking "How ya doing with that project?" and checking to see if they're actually earning their pay.
In knitting news, I wandered over to Ivete's blog on Sunday and saw her Elegant Gauntlets. My first thought was "nice!" My second thought was "Wait, I own that book. How did I miss those?!?" Oh yeah, I know how. I buy books and never get to read them.
I cast on for my own pair on Sunday using some Morehouse Merino laceweight I picked up something like four years ago. I don't know the exact colorway but I believe it's Indian Summer. I only managed to get 3" done because housecleaning called. Feh.
This picture is over-exposed as you can see. The colorway is actually much darker:
I also considered casting on for Argosy from the new Knitty as I happen to have some Noro Silk Garden in stash. But I resisted. For now.
Tomorrow I have my super duper important appointment with the Maternal Fetal Specialist. (YEY!!!) It may be weird to admit this, but I'm looking forward to my ultrasound. I want to make sure the sea monkeys are doing okay.
And because I can't leave so much vitriol on the blog, let's close this post with a picture of my favorite cat:
Keep going sea monkeys! Tomorrow's a really big day!
