I turn 40 in 111 days.
When did I get this old?
More importantly, when did I start FEELING old? I am always pulling a muscle or banging into something or coming across some bodily limitation that I used to not have.
I used to do martial arts pretty close to daily. I used to exercise, hardcore. I used to take care of myself by feeding myself well, stretching, working out, trying to be healthy.
I say used to but now I am beginning to take the reins again. I want to be the "new face of 40" that everyone talks about. I want to be healthy and flexible and better able to keep up with my children. I want to have energy and to not dread getting older which I equate with being sicker or incapacitated. I want to love life again and not just plod through each day until work is done and the kids are in bed and I can crash. I want to look forward to doing active stuff with the kids and not worry about whether or not I will be able to even try.
I want to be the one who teaches the kids to rollerblade, to rock climb, to tumble on a mat, to do a proper stomp kick...
And so, I'm back on the horse diet- and exercise-wise. And, no, it's not a resolution. I could say something corny like it's a revolution in my thinking, but honestly, I'm just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and have been for a while.
Today I did some strength training and stretching to kick things off. The original plan had been to do some cardio but I messed up one of my toes really badly this weekend. (Mass [i.e. my fat ass] times acceleration [hurrying to get shit picked up in order to get the kids into bed] = a ton of force sending a rather small toe into a very very very hard toddler bed leg.) It would have been easier to say, "I'll start next week," but I've been saying that since the kidlets were born.
Now, I have no excuses. Every one has a schedule, time can be carved out. And it will be.
Because I'm not just doing this for me anymore.
(Hunter always climbs out of her bed, dragging her blanket with her, and goes over to Aden's bed after we put them down. Sometimes we find her sleeping next to his bed on the floor. It melts your heart, doesn't it?)