These were posted on Ravelry and are a direct lift but I thought I should also post them here to look back on throughout the year:
- Finish all my UFOs. Period. Either frog it or finish it, but get it done and into happy hands. My mom passed away this year from terminal cancer (age 56) and there was one item that I really wanted to finish but she was taken too soon. I knit for joy, comfort, the challenge of it, but also to express my love. Next year I want to let as much love out as I can.
- Knit from stash as much as humanly possible. Seriously, I have soooo much yarn but every time I want to knit something I buy new, special yarn. Well the yarn sitting in my stash was special once and deserves its time in the limelight also. I especially want to make use of the acrylic I inherited from my husband’s mom and grandma.
- Knit more for my loved ones and for charity.
- Do at least two really big heirloom worthy projects (one for each kidlet). I’m thinking some type of complicated blanket for my son and a wedding shawl for my daughter.
- Do one project that really challenges me. (Might be the same as #4).
- Have fun through it all. It’s only knitting…
So that's it. The knitting hopes and dreams laid bare. I have sewing and quilting dreams but I will save those for later, for when I can actually excavate my sewing and show you what I'm planning.
I've been knitting in the evenings for the past two nights and hope to make this a habit. Through this extra knitting I was able to finish a cowl I started when I got the bug for matching accessories. I was going to knit cowls and hats in coordinating colors to get me through the cold winter and past my mom's illness. When I painfully learned that she had terminal cancer, I put everything else on hold and tore into a shawl for.
At the outset I knit as much as I could, as quickly as I could. Workload and rheumatoid arthritis hampered me so I slowed down my pace. But I was optimistic. My mom had six months to live. I would get this wonderful hug to her — this shawl to keep her warm when I could not be there. This shawl would stand in for how much I loved her while I struggled and dealt and saved up to visit her with the whole family in February so that we could all say a true goodbye.
She unexpectedly died on December 10th — just six weeks after the devastating news — and the shawl was very much unfinished. I will go into all of that at another time, though. I bound off the shawl as it was and she was laid to rest with what I made her. It was not enough and not in time but it was.
These days my knitting brings me bits of comfort and helps to fill an empty space. It also helps me to concentrate my thinking. So if I'm grieving, I can give in to that. If I'm thinking, that's where my focus is.
I've got four active projects right now — a vest for Hunter; the shawl I started after my Mom died the recipient of which is unknown to me; a silly silly silly scarf made of novelty Pom Pom yarn for Hunter which I think will bring her much joy; and a blue chenille garter scarf for Aden that I think will please him just because it is for him — that I am alternating knitting on during my morning commute. I am working on one of these each night, and will be starting a brand new project when I fly to LA next week. It will probably be the Evenstar shawl even though I don't have the right yarn for it. I like starting new projects while flying. It gives me something to look forward to. I hate to fly, am terrified of flying, so having that carrot really helps a lot.
When I get back from LA, I'm going to start digging through UFOs and see what I should complete and what I should frog. I want to have gone through at least 50% of my UFOs in this fashion by the end of 2011. (I have many more UFOs than are listed in my Ravelry account at the moment...)
Every day we'll take a breath and assess. Every day we'll be thankful to still have the ability to create.
(One of my mom's nicknames for me was "Your Majesty". She also called me "Queen Elizabeth" frequently when I was a teen. While I never thought that to be an accurate representation of me, I do use the royal "we" an awful lot. Mami, I miss you so much.)
