I looked at Aden the other day and realized that quite without warning he had turned into a little boy.
I don't know how I missed it or when the moment that he went from being a baby to a kid happened. I felt a little surprised, as if this wasn't supposed to happen for months and months. But my head has been buried in freelance work and looking for a job. I haven't "seen" anything clearly except for my photoshop canvas in weeks.
With Hunter, her little girlness came much sooner and was picked up practically instantly by me. I guess it's because once she became mobile, she also became fiercely independent. She is not one for being picked up or carried or hugged or kissed. So I was more readily able to accept that she was no longer a baby. She resembles her mom in that regard which, of course, is going to make things much more interesting when she is a teen.
Aden, on the other hand, still loves mommy rides and wants to be carried and cuddled. When I watch them in the mornings, he crawls on the couch next to me, regarding me with curious, but shy eyes. He'd rather lie on me and nap then run around sometimes, and God forbid I put him down when he is not ready. Oh the tantrums.
And every day my heart swells -- usually once they're in bed and Mark and I can laugh, joke and commiserate over the miracle that the day was.
And because I have so much love for them, and for Mark, not a day goes by where I don't worry about our future, about my ability to provide, of how good a parent I am, of their development.
They've developmentally hit (and exceeded) most of their milestones, but the big sticking point has always been speech. Aden still babbles, and uses no real words, although recently he has started signing a little bit. Hunter has about 5 words, her favorite word being "up" as demonstrated in the video below:
Edited: Moved video to our Photobucket account.
Still, the video above is such a delight. It shows me that they're not stuck, That they're growing and happy and amazing, at times.
I'm trying hard not to let our current circumstances get me down. I want to enjoy my family, spend time with them, be happy with them.
Which is all a long about way of saying, I love my children and am a bit sad that they are growing up so fast. Not because they are growing up, but because I'm not getting to spend as much time with them as I would like.
But I won't be jobless forever and the economy will eventually improve, and one day soon, I will be able to relax and realize all the joy as it happens and not in retrospect.
You may or may not have noticed a new item on the sidebar at right so I thought I'd point it out to you. I've added my twitter feed to the blog as I tend to update my status there pretty frequently.
I haven't had the time recently to write the full-blown posts that I am used to. I am working on 3 freelance jobs pretty much full-time, with the rest of my waking life taken up with finding a full-time job, caring for the kidlets and just plain ole trying to find some time for myself.
I will return to this space a bit more frequently, once I have gotten a bit of a grip on things. Until then, you can keep tabs on me via Twitter.
Life is busy and good and yeah those kids songs will stick in your head to no end:
Will you wear white Oh my dear, oh my dear Will you wear white, Jenny Jenkins? No I won't wear white For the color's too bright Chorus I'll buy me a foldy-roldy, tildy-toldy Seek-a-double, use-a-cozza roll to find me Roll, Jenny Jenkins, roll
Will you wear green Oh my dear, oh my dear Will you wear green, Jenny Jenkins? No, I won't wear green It's a shame to be seen
Will you wear blue Oh my dear, oh my dear Will you wear blue, Jenny Jenkins? No, I won't wear blue For the color's too true
Will you wear yellow Oh my dear, oh my dear Will you wear yellow, Jenny Jenkins? No, I won't wear yellow For I'd never get a fellow
Will you wear brown Oh my dear, oh my dear Will you wear brown, Jenny Jenkins? No, I won't wear brown For I'd never get around
Will you wear beige Oh my dear, oh my dear Will you wear beige, Jenny Jenkins? No, I won't wear beige For it shows my age
Will you wear orange Oh my dear, oh my dear Will you wear orange, Jenny Jenkins? No, orange I won't wear And it rhymes so there
What will you wear? Oh my dear, oh my dear What will you wear, Jenny Jenkins? Oh what do you care If I just go bare
The first trip out was to the Farmers' Market at Grand Army Plaza for good bread (otherwise impossible to find in this neighborhood) and non-boring apples. This morning was one of those classic tweener types of weather; you saw people in heavy-ish coats and people in tee shirts. I worried that I'd overdressed the kids in heavy coats, so we hurried home and they pretty much immediately went into nap mode.
Aprés nap and lunch, we set out again, this time for the Botanical Gardens. In flusher times we purchased a family membership, and today was the first day this year that using it seemed like a good idea. And cabin fever aside, I could really use more hour-long walks in the park. I feel like I'm turning into Jabba the Hut. Pretty soon I'm going to start looking for chain mail lingerie for Liz.
Anyway, I once again had the twins in the over-and-under configuration. Aden got to ride in the Kelty (he loves it up there, plus he's 10 ounces lighter) and Hunter got to ride in the stroller. I like this configuration because the double stroller is just a beast in less-than-spacious situations. Also, I feel like I'm in the same zip code as both my kids.
Here's Aden enjoying the view:
Here's Hunter being too cute for her shoes (actually, she was pretty good about keeping them on today):
March is one of my favorite months even though it can be frustrating. We had temperatures near 70 today, yet snow lingered on in places. The Japanese Garden was quite beautiful today:
A good day.
(Pictures are from my new phone; the old one was dying, I wanted bluetooth, and this one was free if I just leased my soul to T-Mobile for two more years. The camera isn't great, but as they say, the best camera for any given situation is the one you're carrying.)
First off, Aden is fine; it's been more than a week since the last post, and I thought y'all might want to know that the little man is back to his old self:
Second, stress and scares notwithstanding, kids are the best things that can ever happen to people. Moments like this happen because kids don't automatically sleep in the beds that parents work so hard to provide for them: