The novelty of bedrest wore off real quick.
The main reason is that I haven't been able to find the magic pillow arrangement — and trust me, we have PLENTY of pillows — that will allow me to lie in bed for roughly 16 hours each day without causing me excruciating upper back and neck pain. I've been trying my damnedest to lie on my left (the "preferred") side as much as possible, but I can only really tolerate lying on any one side for about an hour or so before I have to squirm and flip over. Then the guilt begins and the internal dialogue runs like this:
You should be lying on your left. I was lying on my left. The blood and nutrients flow better to the babies if you lie on your left — less pressure on the vena cava. The books say it's really okay for me to lie on either side. Yeah, but you know they prefer the left. My back is fucking really killing me here! Want to have Aden grow or not? Okay, okay, I'm rolling back over...
And so it goes for hours at a shot. Every time I sit up for a minute to alleviate the strain, I feel massively guilty about it. Walking the 2 feet to go to the bathroom or going into the kitchen to get some water is a hugely guilty pleasure.
I'm not on strict bedrest — in bed all day except for one 10 minute shower and bathroom privileges — just "house arrest." I'm supposed to be in bed for half of the morning, half of the afternoon, and all evening. I'm not supposed to overexert myself by cleaning or going shopping or anything, but I could technically sit in a chair for a bit every now and again, which I do... I just split up those blocks of "up-time" into 15 minute chunks to get the best use out of them as possible. It worked out pretty well on Thursday...
But Friday was pretty uncomfortable because I could not find the magic zen of lying in bed at ALL. (Oh, and daytime television absolutely SUCKS ASS!) And by the time I woke up on Saturday morning — there had been a Reggae dance party in our alley all fucking night long that kept me up — I was beyond crabby and in total pain (my back and shoulders were seizing most of the morning). There was nothing that I could do to make myself feel better.
Add to it, some mondo depression because it was my 38th birthday and it seemed like everyone had forgotten about it in light of what was going on with the twins. I, of course, couldn't go anywhere or do anything and I wound up feeling pretty abandoned most of the day. Both my brother — he drove down to see me and get a tattoo — and one of Mark's friends came over and took up almost all of his time. I didn't want to entertain people while in bed so I kinda kicked everyone out of the bedroom but I could still hear them talking and laughing in the kitchen, which was kinda depressing. (Steph and Mark did bring me a lovely "death by chocolate" cake and flowers... I just wish I had been more in the mood for them at the time.)
I felt pretty left out of things for most of the day and when my brother returned late in the evening from his tattoo session, he wanted to talk about some deep problems he was having, so Mark left to give us space. I had spent like maybe 10 minutes with Mark the entire day so I was feeling a little frustrated by that point. I understood that he wanted to give us family time so I sucked it up. My brother needed me and I tried to be as supportive as I could be under the circumstances even though I really just wanted to tell him that now was not the time to talk to me about this stuff.
In fact, I posted this rather self-indulgent and whiny post to the WW boards on Saturday morning:
My back is killing me, I have terrible heartburn from my girl pushing up, I can't breathe since my lungs are squished and I'm totally sore all over. To top things off, I have already used up my computer time for today so I have to lie down for the rest of the day now. (I'm at my desktop right now.)
I know the sacrifice is worth it to get my babies growing and that I'm just being whiny but it's my 38th birthday today and I'm just feeling all kinds of sorry for myself.
So yeah, in the history of birthdays, this one blew. I did engage in a little retail therapy during my two hours of uptime and ordered a crib, mattress, changing table / dresser and half the linens I think we'll need at the outset. That stuff should all arrive by the 15th and will get our nursery started. And next weekend, I will send Mark out for the stuff he can pick up at Tar-jay: bath stuff, medicines, etc.
Also, I have a bit of a reprieve today. I have a doctor's appointment and need to drop off my leave papers at my office so at least I will have a change of scenery. I've really got my fingers crossed that they'll tell me that things are going fine. I don't want to think of the alternatives — especially since I can feel my sea monkeys thumping along so strongly. It's really hard to think the worst under those circumstances.
As for knitting, well, A LOT of it is getting done but believe it or not it's actually hard to knit while lying on your side. Still, I managed to finish the 2nd Hooded Jacket in fairly record time:
I also made two pairs of baby booties and started a third set:
I'm planning on four pairs of booties total (in Khaki, French Blue, Pearl Grey and Winter Sky) to match the Harvey Kimonos and Classic Cashmere Sweaters. Then I'll make four pairs of mittens in the same colors and two hats — maybe striped?
So the tally so far is eight newborn - 3 month old sweaters and two and a half sets of booties. Everything still needs to be blocked and finished but I have kinda thought of a plan on how to do that.
Then after that... who knows? I'm feeling superstitious about starting any more baby clothes other than the unisex outfits I had picked so I don't want to start the pink and blue Classic Baby Cardigans.
For once I'm at a loss as to what to knit.