House Arrest

31 Weeks

The novelty of bedrest wore off real quick.

The main reason is that I haven't been able to find the magic pillow arrangement — and trust me, we have PLENTY of pillows — that will allow me to lie in bed for roughly 16 hours each day without causing me excruciating upper back and neck pain. I've been trying my damnedest to lie on my left (the "preferred") side as much as possible, but I can only really tolerate lying on any one side for about an hour or so before I have to squirm and flip over. Then the guilt begins and the internal dialogue runs like this:

You should be lying on your left. I was lying on my left. The blood and nutrients flow better to the babies if you lie on your left — less pressure on the vena cava. The books say it's really okay for me to lie on either side. Yeah, but you know they prefer the left. My back is fucking really killing me here! Want to have Aden grow or not? Okay, okay, I'm rolling back over...

And so it goes for hours at a shot. Every time I sit up for a minute to alleviate the strain, I feel massively guilty about it. Walking the 2 feet to go to the bathroom or going into the kitchen to get some water is a hugely guilty pleasure.

I'm not on strict bedrest — in bed all day except for one 10 minute shower and bathroom privileges — just "house arrest." I'm supposed to be in bed for half of the morning, half of the afternoon, and all evening. I'm not supposed to overexert myself by cleaning or going shopping or anything, but I could technically sit in a chair for a bit every now and again, which I do... I just split up those blocks of "up-time" into 15 minute chunks to get the best use out of them as possible. It worked out pretty well on Thursday...

But Friday was pretty uncomfortable because I could not find the magic zen of lying in bed at ALL. (Oh, and daytime television absolutely SUCKS ASS!) And by the time I woke up on Saturday morning — there had been a Reggae dance party in our alley all fucking night long that kept me up — I was beyond crabby and in total pain (my back and shoulders were seizing most of the morning). There was nothing that I could do to make myself feel better.

Add to it, some mondo depression because it was my 38th birthday and it seemed like everyone had forgotten about it in light of what was going on with the twins. I, of course, couldn't go anywhere or do anything and I wound up feeling pretty abandoned most of the day. Both my brother — he drove down to see me and get a tattoo — and one of Mark's friends came over and took up almost all of his time. I didn't want to entertain people while in bed so I kinda kicked everyone out of the bedroom but I could still hear them talking and laughing in the kitchen, which was kinda depressing. (Steph and Mark did bring me a lovely "death by chocolate" cake and flowers... I just wish I had been more in the mood for them at the time.)

I felt pretty left out of things for most of the day and when my brother returned late in the evening from his tattoo session, he wanted to talk about some deep problems he was having, so Mark left to give us space. I had spent like maybe 10 minutes with Mark the entire day so I was feeling a little frustrated by that point. I understood that he wanted to give us family time so I sucked it up. My brother needed me and I tried to be as supportive as I could be under the circumstances even though I really just wanted to tell him that now was not the time to talk to me about this stuff.

In fact, I posted this rather self-indulgent and whiny post to the WW boards on Saturday morning:

My back is killing me, I have terrible heartburn from my girl pushing up, I can't breathe since my lungs are squished and I'm totally sore all over. To top things off, I have already used up my computer time for today so I have to lie down for the rest of the day now. (I'm at my desktop right now.)

I know the sacrifice is worth it to get my babies growing and that I'm just being whiny but it's my 38th birthday today and I'm just feeling all kinds of sorry for myself.

So yeah, in the history of birthdays, this one blew. I did engage in a little retail therapy during my two hours of uptime and ordered a crib, mattress, changing table / dresser and half the linens I think we'll need at the outset. That stuff should all arrive by the 15th and will get our nursery started. And next weekend, I will send Mark out for the stuff he can pick up at Tar-jay: bath stuff, medicines, etc.

Also, I have a bit of a reprieve today. I have a doctor's appointment and need to drop off my leave papers at my office so at least I will have a change of scenery. I've really got my fingers crossed that they'll tell me that things are going fine. I don't want to think of the alternatives — especially since I can feel my sea monkeys thumping along so strongly. It's really hard to think the worst under those circumstances.

As for knitting, well, A LOT of it is getting done but believe it or not it's actually hard to knit while lying on your side. Still, I managed to finish the 2nd Hooded Jacket in fairly record time:

I also made two pairs of baby booties and started a third set:

I'm planning on four pairs of booties total (in Khaki, French Blue, Pearl Grey and Winter Sky) to match the Harvey Kimonos and Classic Cashmere Sweaters. Then I'll make four pairs of mittens in the same colors and two hats — maybe striped?

So the tally so far is eight newborn - 3 month old sweaters and two and a half sets of booties. Everything still needs to be blocked and finished but I have kinda thought of a plan on how to do that.

Then after that... who knows? I'm feeling superstitious about starting any more baby clothes other than the unisex outfits I had picked so I don't want to start the pink and blue Classic Baby Cardigans.

For once I'm at a loss as to what to knit.

Dispatch #1 from Bedrest

Thank you all for your well wishes. They mean the world to me and Mark right now.

The twins are being their usual active selves so I am encouraged. Hunter has settled up by my lungs and is kicking the shit out of my ribs and Aden keeps doing his squirmy eel dance low down. Uncomfortable as it is, I am thrilled. In fact, I didn't mind my first day of bedrest too much. It was wonderful to get up fully rested at 8 AM and not have to worry about commuting or fighting people. (Ask me how wonderful it is three weeks from now once the novelty of it has worn off...)

Mark gave me the second round of the steroid shot that accelerates the twins' lung development — in case you are wondering, it's a butt shot — and that was the only medical thing that I needed to do aside from confirm my appointment for Monday. I go back for a non stress test (NST) and biophysical profile (BPP). I will be having the NST twice a week and the BPP — which measures fetal movement, fetal tone, breathing movements, and the amniotic fluid volume — once a week. Then every two weeks I will have a growth check to see how the twins are developing. The next growth check is May 7th and I'm really hoping that Aden shows some major improvement!

I posed a question to the members of the Manhattan Mothers of Twins Yahoo Group and have gotten further insight into IUGR. The women who have written me have been largely positive and have told me that bedrest is the best thing because your body is forced to take it easy and can concentrate on simply growing the babies. Also, the bulk of them were diagnosed with IUGR much earlier than I was and managed to get their twins past 34 weeks or so and that makes me feel a world better.

And, my brother reminded me that my 7 year old nephew was born at 32 weeks weighing only 2 pounds, 11 ounces and he's a bouncing, healthy kid despite the rocky start.

So... I've been trying to take it as easy as possible. I mainly knit and watched TV yesterday and caught up on some calls I needed to make. My friend Sherine, who had busted her butt organizing my surprise shower for this weekend is currently in the hospital and needs surgery (!!!). They're not quite sure what's wrong with her but she's keeping up a brave face despite the fact that I know she is scared shitless. I definitely wanted to talk to her to make sure she was okay! I also had a few minor loose ends to tie up at work and needed to find out if my brother was still planning on visiting me this weekend (he is).

I haven't had Mark set up the laptop in bed yet because I know that the second he does I'll spend most of my time surfing or online shopping — which I actually have valid reasons to do. We have absolutely NOTHING set up for the nursery right now. The reason was that we were going to wait to shop for what we needed until after the shower and since the shower has been cancelled for extremely good reasons, Mark and I are going to just buy the essentials that we need to bring the babies home. I'll be ordering a crib, changing table, some linens and some clothes next week. Then I'll send Mark out to Tar-jay to pick up baby meds and disposables since I'm not going to worry about cloth diapering until the babies are both home and thriving.

Thank God for the internet, online registries and wishlists, and, my very good friends, UPS and Fedex. Now I just need to stick to buying baby things and not, say, yarn that is on sale.

I finished the second Harvey Kimono yesterday — blocking and sewing up aside:

I also made a slew of progress on the second Hooded Jackets. I know that I can finish this today while on bedrest. This is the last of the newborn sweaters and my goal was to block and finish them all together. I haven't yet figured out how I'm going to do all the blocking while I'm on bedrest — maybe I'll get Mark or Kelly or Sandy to help me?

I can get up for two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon (hence this stolen posting time) but Mark would very much rather I spend 24-hours-in-bed-and-stuffing-my-face-thank-you-very-much. And blocking, while not strenuous, can be time consuming. Still these are little teensy pieces so maybe I can block half of them tomorrow and half of them on Sunday?

After I finish these projects, I will bang out a couple of hats, baby mittens and booties. I think that will entertain me until about Wednesday. Then I'll start the larger sweaters — the Milan Jackets in the 12 month size and the Classic Baby Cardigans in the 6 to 9 month size. There's much less urgency to finish these before the sea monkeys get here so I may also work on the Alphabet blanket or — blasphemy — maybe knit myself a quick little something like a shawl or shrug or a pair of slippers for the hospital. (Although, I just eyeballed this pattern and am thinking that maybe a teeny last birthday splurge for some Koigu is in order.)

After all, Mama is admittedly feeling a touch blue over these developments and could use some cheer.

Bedrest

Quickly:

I've been put on bedrest because Aden is not growing well. Hunter has gained a pound (she's at 3 lbs 12 oz)since my last visit two weeks ago whereas Aden (he's at 2 lbs 5 oz) has only gained 4 OUNCES. The diagnosis is Intrauterine Growth Restriction, which is a kinda catchall for a myriad of possible things.

So my gameplan has changed. They've moved up my delivery to 36 weeks (week of June 4th), provided Aden doesn't start showing signs of distress. I also received a steroid shot to help develop the twins' lungs in case they need to be delivered earlier than that.

The doctor told me that at 32 weeks they can pretty much almost guarantee 100% survivability outside the womb at our hospital. However, they're really hoping to keep the twins in for 6 more weeks — it's best to grow the babies in the environment that nature intended for them — before delivering them. The good news is that aside from his small size, Aden is doing well — his organs are developing normally, movements are good and strong, and most importantly, he's getting nutrients through his cord at the same rate as Hunter. I'll be going two to three times a week to have the babies actions monitored and to do growth checks.

Mark is going to set up a laptop in bed so that I can post updates and keep up with the outside world.

So, if I owe you an email, please be a teensy more patient with me... It's gonna take me a little more time to get back to you.

Behind

I'm sorely behind in everything, especially my correspondence with folks. The backache and crab and splitting crotch pain haven't been helping. I come home exhausted, plop at the computer and read your wonderful notes to me, get emotional at how much people REALLY want to help,then start composing replies which I wind up leaving to finish in the morning because I'm falling asleep at 8:30. The morning comes and I wind up realizing I only have 15 minutes to get ready and well, the cycle perpetuates...

If you've written me over the past few days, I just want to let you know that life has been a little more emotional and hectic and that I have been more tired than usual, BUT I will get back to you soon. If you've written me about my diaper service problem, I send double hugs and thanks. I have been reading everyone's suggestions and advice and wonderful stories of how they managed just fine doing cloth on their own and am inspired as well as impressed. I've gotten so much great advice and feedback that I feel that Mark and I can come up with a solution — provided we can actually get a washing machine installed here. Which I think we can... we just have to see how much it will cost.

I am waiting until I come up for air to write back to everyone. But, it won't take too long... I just need to make it through this weekend and score a day off next week to recharge my batteries. I think getting past my birthday will help things a lot.

Today begins the first of my weekly appointments. I'll report back tomorrow along with an updated belly pic. Eight weeks to go, knock on wood.

Eight weeks until the adventure begins.

What do you feel
When you let go of the wheel
Can you take a leap of faith
Will you face the change of pace
There are worlds out there
Beyond compare

Going on a journey
Somewhere far out east
We'll find the time to show you
Wonders never cease

All that we’ve been through
Brings my soul so close to you
Why not cast your fears aside
We can laugh until we cry
There are worlds out there
Beyond compare

Going on a journey
Somewhere far out east
We’ll find the time to show you
Wonders never cease
Going on a journey
Somewhere far out east
We’ll find the time to show you
Wonders never cease

Wonders never cease

30 Weeks: Crabbiness

A huge thanks to everyone who commented on my "Swelling" post. My sister-in-law — who died at the age of 27 — had pre-eclampsia during her pregnancies and lost a baby girl because of it. So it hits a little closer to home for me and it's just one of those amplified fears that I have that I shouldn't. (Hell, when I told my brother I was pregnant, he kept telling me to make sure I got monitored for pre-eclampsia!) I know that some level of mild edema is normal for pregnant women... I just thought that maybe I lucked out and was going to miss out on it completely. I have an appointment on Wednesday — this one kicks off the weekly visits! — so I'll definitely be asking about how normal this all is then.

I'm just not used to having to force my rings on or for my clothes and sheets and chair to so readily imprint themselves in my flesh. And let's not talk about the ankles. They're not at cankle stage yet but it's disconcerting to see how fat they appear to be. And of course, for a woman who's struggled with weight issues her entire life, appearing fat is a huge blow to the ego — regardless of how "cute" everyone insists pregnant women are.

Oh and that's another pet peeve. The whole pregnant women being "cute" thing. For the record, waddling is not fucking cute. I waddle cause I can't walk normally. I waddle cause it fucking hurts to walk any other way. So telling me how cute I am or look when I waddle just frustrates me. Watching me waddle slowly down the hall towards you with a half-knowing smile on your face makes me want to smack you when I get to the end. I'm in pain and your smiling at my misery, you dolt. There's more to this rant, but I'll leave it at that.

Okay, yeah, I'm crabby. I've been pretty crabby lately. And no, my crabbiness isn't cute either.

I'm pretty sure that this crabbiness is being brought about by my frustration at being unable to do normal things like, oh, bend over to pick something up or shave my legs or take off my shoes unassisted. My belly has gotten heavier and much more uncomfortable to walk with lately — even with the sling — and I can feel that the twins are getting more than a bit crowded. More often than not I can feel a solid baby body along my sides. It's definitely a neat feeling but unfortunately it's usually accompanied by some other pain like extreme backache or the sensation that your bladder is about to fall out.

Adding to the crab is my depression over my upcoming 38th birthday on Saturday. I have absolutely no plans for my birthday. Part of me feels that this is the last birthday I will have all to myself for a long time. Starting next year, my birthdays will revolve around the kids (at least until they're in their pre-teens) so I kinda was hoping to make this one special somehow. Of course, most of the things I would normally do are either off limits or take too much physical effort and I can't think of substitutions for them. I'm not a spa or manicure person — I hate people touching me, my favorite restaurant closed two years ago, and I can't walk around and explore the city like I used to. Having a few drinks is out of the question, I don't want to go to the movies cause I have to pee every 20 minutes and there's really nothing I want to see, ditto with going to a concert, and I've already bought myself enough stuff. That basically leaves staying home and either lying in bed watching TV or sitting in the glider and knitting, since I can't lie down and knit comfortably. Sounds like a fabu time, no?

And of course there's this growing and gnawing anxiety over getting ready for the twins. Getting the car registered in NYS was a freaking three day nightmare for Mark but now we legally have wheels so that we can go places if we need to. And we will.

I wasn't feeling well this weekend, so we didn't go look at apartment sized washer / dryer units. That's our next big major purchase and I guess we'll have to go shopping for it on my birthday (joy) since we really need to get that lined up. On top of that, we still need to pick up absolutely everything — clothes, crib, stroller, diapers, etc. The cloth diaper service we were going to use (Tidy Diapers) stopped delivering to Brooklyn and the other diaper service I knew of appears to be out of business. At least that's what the disconnect message I get when I dial the number tells me.

Aside: It took three unreturned phone calls and three e-mails over the course of a month and a half for Suzanne, the owner of Tidy Diapers, to deign to reply to me. My last e-mail was marked urgent and had a paragraph on what our needs were, how highly recommended they were and how I'd really like to set up an account. This was answered by a curt "We are no longer delivering to Brooklyn. Suzanne". SIX contact attempts on my part and that's ALL I get? Great customer service on their part, no? Makes me kinda glad that I don't have to deal with them at all. I definitely will NOT be recommending them to anyone based on this experience.

[Edited to add - 9:11 PM]: Suzanne called my cellphone today to return a call from two weeks ago. Unfortunately I was in a meeting and had to let it go to voicemail. Also, I just read an email I got today from a woman who uses Tidy Diapers. Apparently the company has been having experiencing some serious delivery personnel problems which might be the reason why the cut their Brooklyn service out. So, that being said, I won't personally be recommending them but I won't be dissuading people either. 

This has of course thrown a huge wrench in my "save money any which way you can" plan — cloth diapers for both twins would have come out to under $100 per month based on what the other twin moms in Manhattan were paying — but it is what it is. My guess is that Mark and I will do disposables for the first six months or so and then figure out how to do cloth on our own. It's going to take a bit of research on our parts and I don't have the energy for that right now. I'm more concerned with our non-existent nursery at the moment.

In knitting news, I've officially killed the Elven Cardigan and the Classic Cashmere Leggings. I made the decision this weekend and frogged both pieces, storing the yarn for future unknown projects. The leggings didn't make sense to me anymore because the babies would have to wear them during the summer (not likely) and while I liked the Elven cardi, I was already making the similarly styled Hooded Pullovers in the same size. Also, as much as I liked the Andean Treasure when I started, I'd kinda fallen out of love with it for that particular project. After all, I'd bought nicer yarns recently that I'd rather use for the kids' knits.

I haven't scrapped the Alphabet Blanket or the Candle Flame Shawl, though, because I can keep working on these after the babies are born. Ideally I'd like to have the blanket finished by Thanksgiving, which actually seems doable. And as for the shawl, well, I can cast off where it is right now and easily call it finished. Still I have another ball of yarn and would like to get a few more pattern repeats in there.

I've managed to knit through both fronts and one sleeve of the second Harvey Kimono. I'm halfway through the second sleeve and should be finished with that by this evening:

By the way, see that cute "project bag" from Piddleloop (an Etsy shop). That was one of my birthday presents to myself. I've bought two so far and am completely in love with them. They have a grommet to feed the yarn through so I can keep my knitting in my messenger bag while I commute. They also have an inside pocket for notions (I use it to keep ball bands and stitch holders) and an elastic knitting needle holder which is just perfect for me to keep the different size needle tips I need for my projects. The best part is that two of them fit in the front of my messenger bag so I can always have two fully ready projects (needles, notions and all) at the ready. I'm totally wanting one or two more and I'm only waiting until they put some up in fabrics that I like.

The knitting on the second of the Oz Vests was finished on Saturday. It's now in the "to be blocked and finished" pile with the rest of the sweaters:

Last but not least, I started the last of the newborn sweaters — the second of the Hooded Pullovers. I should be finished knitting the second Harvey Kimono either today or tomorrow so I will be able to concentrate my efforts on finishing that.

Swelling

Yesterday my co-workers and I were talking about pregnancy symptoms. Everyone's been fairly surprised that I haven't been complaining too much about the usual suspects such as heartburn or swollen ankles. I mentioned that while I'd had a few bad bouts of heartburn, I didn't get it too often and when I did, I could get it pretty much in check. And that, to date, my ankles hadn't gotten swollen and everything felt great.

That changed this morning. I woke up with deep indentations where my socks met my legs. It took a bit of effort to get my rings on my fingers. And, checking my socks just know, I found puffy, indented ankles. Ugh! Of course, now I can add worrying about pre-eclampsia to my list.

There are so many things that the books don't mention. They don't tell you that it will hurt when your bellybutton pops. They don't mention the "stabbing crotch pain" you will feel in your vagina or the fact that it will radiate outward in your groin and make it practically impossible to walk. And the books definitely don't say a word about the "squirming eels" feeling you will sometimes get when your baby(ies) are hanging low and moving around above your crotch.

Instead they are vague about symptoms, saying some women feel great others feel not so hot. I have exhaustion hanging like a dark heavy fog around me and realize that I fall into the "not so hot" category. It's only Wednesday and I'm wondering how I'm going to make it until Friday.

29 Weeks: Single Digits

I'm in the single digits now with 9 weeks to go. No, I don't feel any pressure. Why would I feel pressure? Yeah I know that we haven't bought any cribs or a bassinette or car seats or, for heaven's sake, CLOTHES yet and that the diaper service still hasn't gotten back to me and I should probably call them AGAIN or we're going to wind up going the disposables route.

Ugh.

Yes, there will be lots of shopping happening in the very near future. We have to get one more major purchase out of the way — an apartment-sized combo washer / dryer — before we embark on purchasing all the baby stuff. Thank God / the universe that I put together a registry / shopping list that can be ordered entirely online if I need it to be.

On the plus side, I finally have a formalized maternity leave plan. My boss and I sat down last week and agreed that my last day in the office would be June 1st. I'll work from home the week of June 4th, and if I haven't given birth by then, begin my leave on June 11th. My revised due date is June 18th (38 weeks) so having the week before to prep and relax would be nice. Of course, this is all subject to the whims of the two inhabitants of my uterus. They might decide that 38 weeks is a little too long to wait and decide to make an early departure from their ever-shrinking surroundings. Still, it's nice to have a plan, however unreliable it might turn out to be.

Mark's trip to WV and back went really well. He got to spend the weekend visiting with his dad, sis, brother-in-law, nephews and a ton of other family whom he hadn't gotten to see since we last visited a few years ago. All of them wanted to hear about how the the twins were doing so there were many calls to say "hi" to Mama which helped to assuage some of my loneliness.

The net result of his trip was Moby II:

Moby is an extremely well maintained white Chevy Venture. It is sweet and gorgeous, has a light grey interior and seats six humans or, in our case, four humans, a tongue-lolling rottweiller and four scared and very pissed off cats. Mark drove Moby back home through the Nor'Easter we had on Sunday and apparently the car handled really well so that makes me feel very good about it. I told Mark I'd get him a Garmin and a subscription to AAA but apparently that offends his "Southern male" sensibilities and I can only get them if I finally learn how to drive.

My fear of driving may eventually be conquered by my desire to get to the yummy yarn / craft mega-sales upstate. However, I don't see that happening anytime before the kids are twenty two.

Speaking of yarn, my friend Sandy and her daughter Eva came over for a knitting lesson on Saturday. I'm glad to say that I managed to succesfully teach Sandy — I totally bombed with Eva, unfortunately — after I changed the cast on method. The backwards loop cast on was causing too many problems with it's ever-growing distance between stitches so I taught Sandy the knitted cast-on and VOILA! Problem solved. The much firmer cast-on enabled her to quickly learn how to knit and purl. I also had her do some moss stitch and ribbing before she learned to cast-off.

She and Eva went home with some yarn, issues of Knitters, FCEK and KnitSimple and straight needles I was no longer using so they could continue practicing on their own. Sandy will also be joining the lovely ladies of Knit Club on Wednesday — I'm hoping that I FINALLY get to make it after a two month hiatus — for more fun. She's decided to make a vest for her son's birthday so there will be more lessons in the future.

As for my own knitting, I finished the right front of the second Oz Vest and have the left front to go. The goal is to finish all the knitting on it today, then to move on to finishing the knitting on the second Harvey Kimono. That should carry me to the end of this week.

I want to have everything blocked and sewn up by the end of this month and that includes starting and finishing the second Hooded Pullover as well. It's only slightly ambitious since I definitely could get more knitting time in each day by knitting during lunch and at night before bed. I've just been lazy about blocking out time for myself at work so I think I'll make myself a sign that says "At lunch. Please return at ___" and put that next to me while I knit. It worked for another of my co-workers so maybe it will work for me too.

Weekend Plans

Thanks for the comments about the pictures from yesterday!

The cats are in fact totally loving their condo. Mark thought that it was a a somewhat-extravagant splurge at first but he now loves it almost as much as we think they do. (I think he was biased initially because he was the one that had to put it together...) They still need to get used to clawing the sisal but otherwise the cattens and Spot are all over the thing, vying for the top seat. Stranger (the black & white tuxedo cat) still prefers his perch on Mark's reading chair but he doesn't mind the easier access to the food bowl! I'm thrilled that they're actually using it and am looking forward to ditching that ugly old plastic bookcase that we were previously using to keep their food out of Maia's reach.

As for the twins and I, our doctor's appointment went relatively well. I don't have gestational diabetes (hoorah!) and my exhaustion and aches and pains are simply due to the fact that I am carrying two babies. The midwife kept stressing that I should listen to my body and should go on leave when my body told me to, which I'm already planning on. Otherwise, I am doing really, really well in her opinion. My next visit in two weeks (the 30 week mark) will herald the switch from bi-weekly to weekly visits. It's kinda odd to think about it, but I'm in the home stretch.

The only disconcerting thing that turned up at the visit was that Aden weighs about 25% less than Hunter does at this point. He weighs 2 pounds, 1 ounce to her 2 pounds, 12 ounces. I could tell something was up when the ultrasound tech came back and said that Doctor Death had asked her to run a few more tests. I'd never had this particular tech scan me before and she wasn't very helpful or friendly — they usually explain or comment as they scan — so I felt a bit out of sorts and uncomfortable with her. (That and she pushed down really freaking hard on my belly a few times... Hello, that shit HURTS!) She did give me those cool 3D ultrasound pictures of Hunter though — Aden was facing my back until the very last minute so she couldn't get him — so I wound up forgiving her at the end.

Dr. D. did the ultrasound read and he was positive overall. He told me that since the sea monkeys weren't identical that Aden might be hardwired for a lower birth weight. He said that they would check again in 4 weeks and since the discrepancy wasn't larger (say a 30 to 40% difference) and the additional tests were perfectly normal, I really didn't have to worry.

Of course, I was worried until a few of the folks over on Weight Watchers told me their personal experiences. A couple of the twin moms piped in — one woman's twins always had a 10 oz difference in their growth and another was diagnosed with discordant twin growth but her babies turned out to not be that far apart in weight at birth — which helped put my mind at ease for now. 

Aside: I get pissed off every time people who don't have kids tell me "Oh, but one twin is ALWAYS XYZ. They're always born just fine..." Thanks for your medical opinion but that's simply not true... There are plenty of babies, singleton and otherwise, that are not just born fine.

I know that I'm not the first woman on the planet to be pregnant or the first person ever to have twins but I really hate when the doctors scare the crap out of you because they legally have to and all your friends just try to blindly reassure you and dismiss your worries. If I'm worried telling me that everything is going to be okay doesn't help me. It just pisses me off because it shows that you don't respect my fears.

This week has gone by too quickly for me... Of course it's because I've been dreading Mark's trip to pick up the car and I'm now counting the minutes until he drives home on Sunday. The funny thing is that aside from this week all the rest of my "pregnancy time" has seemed to just draaaag. But this week, of course, just flew on by.

I've called a few folks from my support network and I feel a bit more comfortable about fending for myself so this weekend won't be that bad. I'm planning to take it super-easy, with the notion of calling and catching up with a few people I haven't spoken to recently, exhaustion permitting. But I'm planning on spending the bulk of my time knitting and decompressing.

My friend Sandy will be coming over tomorrow. I've been promising her a knitting lesson for like forever and a day, and I've got a little yarn and some mags and books to pass on to her. I hope that I can actually manage to teach in a comprehensible manner. My friend Kelly is one of the few people that I have successfully taught how to knit and she's like a bazillion times better at it than I am so she usually teaches at Knit Club. I tend to sit there, fix mistakes and give input every now and again so I feel wildly out of practice. Still, I know Sandy's had a few lessons so hopefully it'll just a question of being able to take off from what she remembers.

Speaking of knitting, progress on the second Oz vest is being quickly made:

My guess is that it will be finished by the end of the weekend. (I might get really ambitious and try to finish it all today.) That leaves completing the second Harvey Kimono and making the second Hooded Pullover before I can block everything to have it ready for finishing. There are booties, beanies and mittens in the picture also but I can make those in a day or two so I'm not sweating those.

Oddly enough I'm feeling really good about my knitting. I probably won't have the baby blanket completed before they are born but I will have plenty of little sweaters ready for when they arrive and as they grow up.

Pictures

Details to follow:

Aden

Hunter

Hunter, profile

28 weeks, 4 days

Cat condo

Dead Tired

I woke up way too late to compose a full post with pics — I finished the back of the vest, the cat condo came, I got a surprise gift (!) from a reader and my Etsy stuff has started trickling in — so that will have to wait for tomorrow. I will, however, update everyone later in this post as to how the sea monkeys' checkup goes today. Part of me is looking forward to it, part is fearing it, as I always do. Will they find something? What if...? I can't help but wait for the shoe to drop, so to speak. For the bad luck that I "know" I deserve to finally catch up with me.

I've been absolutely 1000000% dragging the past few days and can't figure out why. My back has been insanely painful, walking is a freaking joke, and my exhaustion doesn't seem to go away, regardless of how much sleep I'm getting. My nausea got so bad yesterday that I had to leave work early and have Mark meet me at home. I honestly feel as if I'm in my first tri all over again.

I compared my symptoms to some of the other Bellybeans over on the Weight Watchers' boards and noticed that I'm having A LOT of the same aches and pains as those who are past week 32.

It makes sense, I guess. They have 8-10 weeks to go and so do I.