I finally put away all of the crafting stuff that had been cluttering my sewing table. It'd gone through a few cleanups but there were a few things I had been working on when my mom died that I could not bear to put away. I kept avoiding those projects because I couldn't quite deal with them. They always brought back a flood of memories of the would have, could have, should haves surrounding November and December. So my sewing table became another dumping ground for wayward skeins, hooks, needles and patterns.
The things I'd been working on or put aside in favor of my Mom's shawl got left there in limbo, while her shawl, unfinished as it was, was bound off and taken to be with her on her final journey.
Today I decided it was time to deal with the clutter. I started with the top layer of recent projects and thoughts — putting away yarn and patterns and sketches. As I got deeper into the pile, memories started flooding back. There was the yarn for Calorimetry which I never started because I wanted to work on my mom's shawl. The shawl that I started on the difficult plane trip to her funeral was still waiting for me to finish.
I ripped a couple of things that I no longer had any desire to finish. I took my time, rewinding the yarn, and trying to figure out what it wanted to become. I took notes and put them in ziplocs with the yarn and stored those newly freed skeins away.
The hardest part was dealing with the project bag that housed my Mom's shawl. I put up the remaining yarn with no note. I don't knit cotton so I will always know what that yarn was meant for. Aden and Hunter helped me size the needles and sort the stitch markers. They've always been interested in what I do and have started asking me to make them things. Having them help was good as it helped to ground me somewhat. But it did remind me me of how little time we all have.
I need to get on with my crafting promises for the year - Hunter's shawl and Aden's blanket. I'm planning on being around for them for a good long while but there are no guarantees and I want them to have some legacy from me.
Time to get to work.